Welcome

It's not that you haven't worked hard enough; it's that your nervous system learned long ago that stillness wasn't safe. As a result, you never developed the wiring needed to return to a state of calm. This is the root of the issue and bears repeating. In childhood, the connection with your parent didn't hard‑wire the skill that brings you back to stillness. Without that ability, predictable moments of chaos can stretch into days, weeks, or even years.

This isn't something you can achieve in isolation. You've been running like a Ferrari with the gas pedal stuck to the floor, and all your healing efforts so far have happened inside that speeding vehicle. This can manifest as mild to severe ADHD, anxiety, depression, autoimmune issues, attachment challenges, isolation, suicidal thoughts, chronic fatigue, or sleep problems.

Without the neurological skill to access complete stillness, you may develop what's often referred to as complex PTSD.